... but at last night's 51st Annual Grammy Awards, Coldplay beat Radiohead. And I'm not just talking about the number of awards they won. Both bands performed, and if I were judging it like a Battle of the Bands, I'm sorry my-favorite-band, but the ones often called "Radiohead for your Mom" impressed me a bit more.
For one thing, despite what critics have said, I've never had any kind of hatred or even dislike for Coldplay. I might have been bored after awhile. I might have called them too simplistic and said that they have more ambition than talent to friends. But it's hard for me to hate Chris Martin and company when they've got good enough taste ('80s U2, Kraftwerk, Bob Dylan, Brian Eno) and self-depreciating qualities - just check out that featured interview Chris Martin gave Rolling Stone last year that I find them kind of endearing. They know that deep in their heart of hearts, they're nothing too special. Hell, they even admitted while accepting an award their wardrobe was blatantly nicked from Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band.
But critics be damned, they still reach for that "biggest band in the world" status with more boyish intensity than one would think acceptable after a certain level of success. So when the band performed a medley of "Lost+," featuring a walk-on cameo from Jay-Z, and "Viva La Vida," two songs that even a harsh Coldplay critic admitted to liking, they played like they still needed to prove themselves. Considering the vast majority of Grammy performances are like watching artists bask in their own glitzy greatness, Coldplay still reached for the rafters and were the only performers that night who finished with a gloss of sweat. Unless Martin pulls out some earth-shatteringly poignant lyrics on his next album and comes away with some Pazz and Jop poll honors, the Grammys are top of the pile for Coldplay. It looked like they weren't going to take that for granted.
Radiohead, on the other hand, are already one of the biggest bands in the world without major awards or big hits. Just huge, almost unanimous critical acclaim. To see them at the Grammys was certainly a strange thing to see. I remember when they were beat by Steely Dan for Album of the Year in 2001, back when Kid A was in the process of changing my life, and I was livid. Since then, Radiohead were above appearing at this awful, petulant award show. But here they were, nominated for Album of the Year again, and scheduled to perform.
But the performance I think was hindered from the start. First, it was "15 Steps," not a band song, but certainly not a favorite from In Rainbows. I'm listening to "House of Cards" right now. That would have been a better choice... but that's just me. Second, it was "15 Steps," with added percussion from the USC Marching Trojans. I don't know why, but whoever schedules the music performances on the Grammys loves those marching bands. The Trojans played fine, but it was a bit strange to see Radiohead embrace such a typical Grammy performance gimmick.
Did I say Radiohead? I meant Thom Yorke and Jonny Greenwood. Unless the rest of the band was performing behind the Trojans' stand or out of the camera's eye, those two guys were the only members of Radiohead I saw performing. Just like Roger Daltrey and Pete Townshend can't truly call themselves the Who when two of the members have died, I wouldn't call them Radiohead just because the two most visible members are onstage. Call me a snob, but it's just not the same thing.
Of course, Thom and Jonny weren't bad onstage. Thom's dancing inspired one of the best live-blog quotes of the night, "No one on the corner's got swagger like Yorke."* But his performance straddled the line of just having his usual fun and sneering at the opulent fat-cats of the music industry that he's so criticized throughout his career. And as much as I want to spin that as an artistic win for my favorite band, I can't help but feel they weren't nearly as fun to watch as their younger, wimpier brethren.
To be fair, I don't think this is something that could be repeated, that is unless Coldplay magically pulls out a masterpiece and Radiohead get really old and really stale. On their own terms, at their own shows, Radiohead has mopped the floor with Coldplay. And yeah, I think In Rainbows should take more awards than Viva La Vida and Raising Sand. But when it came to bowing to the hand that feeds, Coldplay was more the lovable puppy to Radiohead's cat.
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*By the way, the "Rap Pack" performance was awesome, if only to watch M.I.A. dancing with her incredibly pregnant belly. That baby is going to be awesome.
Other great moments of the night were Lil Wayne's solo performance, Kanye West on his best behavior with Estelle, and the Buddy Guy/B.B. King/John Mayer/Keith Urban tribute to Bo Diddley.
Some honorable mentions go to the faces of the Jonas Brothers after Katy Perry performed "I Kissed a Girl." Those guys have chastity rings? Pssh, the younger brothers looked like they were looking at a Playboy magazine. I'd like to think that at least one of them said to themselve, "I could totally hit that..."
Finally, while nearly all the jokes ranged from awful to awkward, Late Late Show host Craig Ferguson managed this utter gem.
"Twenty years ago, when I was a drummer of a punk band in Glasgow, if you had told me that I'd someday be onstage at the Grammys, I would have called you crazy. I also would have vomited on your shoes and stabbed you."
